I don’t fear the end point, I just fear and dread the process.
I think every time I think about it, I die a little bit inside.
Archive for the ‘Faith’ Category
Electric Feel
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010Observations #1
Tuesday, April 20th, 2010In life, sometimes we make the wrong (maybe not entirely wrong, just the one that’s “less right”) choices and end up with a less than satisfactory result/outcome than the one we originally hoped for.
The period of regret and “emoing” that comes after is almost a given. The problem with some people is that it loops in a vicious cycle. We say things like “Oh I’ll try harder next time” or “I’ll promise to change” or “This is the last time I’ll XXX”. But we never change.
The general idea of meritocracy where hard work in = good results out (although not always necessarily true), is almost universally understood, yet somehow this simple rule/guideline seems to go mostly ignored or at the most adhered to for a short period of time before somehow vanishing somewhere in our heads.
Luck can only take you so far.
“There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.”
Don’t get me wrong, this is not a lecture of sorts, just an observation.
And I’m thankful to God for His mercies and grace for the results that I’ve obtained so far. Because without Him, I would have never have achieved these things and yet he provides ever so freely and willingly even though I’m undeserving of His grace. In my weaknesses and foolishness, God makes His glory known. I have to constantly remind myself that these achievements and successes are not of my own power or wisdom but of His, less arrogance and pride starts to breed in my heart.
This week will be a tough week even as my ISAT results are being released. The struggles within my heart are of a million different conflicts, each thought colliding head on with one another. The “what-ifs” and the “should-Is”. Should I already be expecting good results? Should I be thankful no matter what the result? Should I be preparing for the worst and thinking of all the negative outcomes?
The only thing I’ve come to know and know is that His ways are infinitely higher than mine and that I can find comfort in his mercies and providence, always.
“Be Still, and Know that I Am God.” – Psalm 46:10
Lent
Friday, February 19th, 2010Are we at all deserving of His grace and providence?
I take too many things for granted.
A Lesson in Humility
Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010In the end, we can only hope for the best.
The things we do…or try to do, can only be best described as, in vain.
Yet we still try. And try. And try.
Because at the end of the day, you do what you need to do, to do what you want to do.
Hosanna
Sunday, January 17th, 2010I haven’t been doing my QT as (for a lack of a better word) religiously as usual…especially after my exams. Surprisingly (though somewhat not…well 50/50), God still has been faithful in His promises when I’m not keeping mine.
I guess Hosanna sums it all up.
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved meBreak my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity
Thoughts
Saturday, October 17th, 2009I would say that after much reading, the differences between Peter Abelard and that of Bernard of Clairvaux are strikingly similar to an issue I brought up earlier, that of logos vs. faith alone/authority. Although I would say that Abelard did not totally throw out faith & authority but rather thought one should understand what one believes in order to have a greater understanding of the Word.
As Abelard once said:
For by doubting we are led to inquire, and by inquiry we perceive the truth.
By applying logic and reason one is not changing the Word/foundation of Faith but rather trying to put/make sense in/of it. The foundation of our Faith is a belief in God, what He has done for us and our love for Him.
Just like how we are brought up with authority alone, we believe what we have been told because we have no reason for doing otherwise. A child (in contrast to an adult) cannot apply logic on such levels and they just accept it. However, as we develop scholastic skills and learn to think independently, sometimes we cannot see a good enough reason for doing something that is traditionally taught by authority.
We should not remain stagnant in studying the Word but rather try to add on to the foundation that is Christ in our lives and build upon it by studying the Word in greater depth. Although sometimes these just end up as futile attempts to understand a God that is beyond our human comprehension and logic, because only God knows the Truth and we can only ask for His divine revelation and wisdom in such things.
Though sometimes there is beauty in not knowing or rather beauty in something so incomprehensible, that is why would God do so much for someone as lowly as me.
O LORD, what is man that you care for him,
the son of man that you think of him?- Psalms 144:3
Word.
Wednesday, October 14th, 2009I have to write an essay about poor Peter Abelard (who was unfortunately castrated) and it brings up the beliefs he held of the Trinity Doctrine & Original Sin. The question at hand is not about the differences in his/the Church’s beliefs but rather the way (if even possible) one would use logic and reason to try and understand the mysteries and nature of God.
Coincidentally, I have been thinking about the Nicene Creed, Sola fide, the infallibility of the Bible, Wesleyan-Arminianism and Calvinism, trying to understand how our Christian belief systems and creeds that we have in Church came about. Unfortunately, many Christians in recent times have viewed this as a terrible, wrong thing to do. If one would bring this topic up (casually or otherwise) in the context of let’s say, a cell group, all you would get are nasty stares and things like “Why do you ask so many questions? It’s faith, you just have to believe”.
If we were to say this exact phrase to anyone and everyone who questions you about your Faith, then I think it’s just a cheap/shallow excuse to use. It may or may not reflect the current state of modern Christians in our society but if we continue to have this mindset, I have no idea how we are supposed to grow in God. Not that I’m doubting my Faith but rather I feel everyone should have beliefs built on a strong foundation.
Unfortunately, the Truth is not easily obtained.